Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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