Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
