yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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