At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
