did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
