Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
