Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
