I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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