The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
