these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
