fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
