Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
