I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
