i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
