so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
