Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
