okay pat passed out under dana's car
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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