What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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