Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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