if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm getting married
To pizza
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
