This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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