toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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