my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
