I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
