You work out of a Hotel?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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