She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
