shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
