matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
