i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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