I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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