Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
