The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
