She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
