I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
