I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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