Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
