you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
