I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
