Im at strip club and am horny
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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