Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Holy shit dude........stairs
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