My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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