I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
