Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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