I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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