last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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