I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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