YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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