Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
