I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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