im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
