you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He did a backflip because drugs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
