no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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