i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
